Food, glorious food

So Monday arrived and Richard, my new cook or 'chef' to give him his proper title turned up and got himself settled in to the kitchen.
He soon found where everything was and then asked what I would like for my dinner that night. I told him that I would leave it to him so he said that he would do me a cut of suckling pig on the bone with a puree of potato accompanied by haricot vert and a bramley juis.
To be honest I didn't like the sound of it much but I was relieved to see that he obviously couldn't get the ingredients for whatever it was he was planning to do because instead  he did me Pork chops, mash and green beans with apple sauce.
Nice.

Kipper has been busy in the garden and has planted more tomato plants in the greenhouse which he has once more kitted out with the reflective sheets and electric heat lamps to give them their best chance of survival.
I asked if the old heat lamps were running okay on his crystallised meths and he gave me a strange look as if he didn't understand before muttering that yes, they were running fine.
I wonder if he is overdoing it again and growing tired ? His nose is always red and he keeps nervously scratching and itching his face.
I hope he doesn't crack.

I might go for a quick pint down The Bull tonight for a grin because apparently a group of young women have been going in for a few drinks just lately and Col has been sniffing around and trying his charms on them.
They reckon on Wednesday he kept buying them drinks all night and he thought he had struck lucky with one of them when she leaned over and put her head between his legs. However, she then burped, groaned and threw up in his lap but luckily most of the sick ran off as Col had a bit of a Billy Smarts Big Top occurring in his trousers.
Apparently it didn't deter him and he was seen helping the semi-conscious wench into his car after last orders.
Well, the hungry must be fed...