No milk today

Yesterday was all rather uneventful, consisting mainly of me relaxing and reading a book while enjoying one or two glasses of crimson nectar. I thought I would make the most of it before Lumpkin stumbles over this way and hammers another brace of decent bottles of Port. I'd tell him that I had no more available but he knows that's not true and also he knows I want to have a gander at these photos he acquired.
I'm not exactly sure what it is that he intends to do with them in the long run. Maybe he will ask the Bishop for money directly although that could be classed as bribery, well, it is bribery but within the eyes of the church it is probably looked upon as 'normal working practice' ?
I suppose he could just let it be known that he has access to such material in the hope that the Bishop is favourable to him or leaves him alone when Lumpkin himself is caught in the wrong place at the wrong time and heaven alone knows that's happened more than once. Lumpkin is a thoroughly decent fellow on the whole but he does tend to be easily led when it comes to the fairer sex and also he has a tendency to be in the right place with open arms ready to catch things as they fall off the back of a passing lorry.

I did take a walk into the village yesterday in order to exercise the dogs and I bumped into old Slider and Fendtskip. These two chaps used to work on the farm as did their fathers before them. Fendtskip had a reputation for being a ladies man and it was rumoured that he had quite a round in the village at one time. They used to say that as the milkman left the doorstep, he was normally passed by Fendtskip.
Slider on the other hand was a bit more discreet, hence his nickname. When everyone was out at work, it was said that Sliders bike would appear outside the gate and he would go inside on the pretence of 'fixing a leaky tap' or suchlike. This was all going on while they were meant to be working on the farm but we were never able to catch them at it as whenever we asked of their whereabouts, we were always told they had gone to get some parts or that they were in the middle of the wood repairing pheasant pens...
Anyway, they were a fairly likable pair and when I saw them yesterday, Slider was just coming out of young Mandy H's place and Fendtskip was sat on the bench on the village green reading a copy of Razzle. I suspect young Mandy had a 'leaky tap'...

The bloody paperboy is late again this morning. Normally you can put the lateness of a paperboy down to him being tired from doing his homework at the last minute or that he has a puncture on his bicycle, the trouble is our paperboy is in his forties, drives a van and only lives down the road. I reckon the old stoat has been on the nest again and had to wait until the blood went back into his brain. He's not been married long so I reckon he's now doing legally what he's been doing illegally for years. I'm sure that sort of thing is still illegal isn't it ? I know he's a tradesman and all that but you should never take your work home.
He's got a few cows also, just to supplement his paper round. I saw him the other morning with milk all over his trousers.
Well, I assume it was milk...