Say cheese

I never realised how much Port two people could consume in one evening. I feel right as rain today but everything has a certain after-taste...
Well, according to Lumpkin, the Bishop has been caught with his pants down, quite literally.
Apparently old David, the local happy snapper, was out and about trying to capture some shots of a few birds for a local photography competition when he saw something in the corner of his eye in the window of the rectory. He peered through his lense only to be greeted by the sight of Mrs E, the cleaner and the Bishop with his robes up over his head...
I don't think those two tits and a chuff were the sort of shots which the local camera club will accept in the competition.
Having said that, I think the Bishop had a winning entry that day...
So old David has some photographs which Lumpkin is keen to get his mits on but David feels that he is torn between the moral path of righteousness and fifty quid in his hand. Lumpkin reckons those pictures will be as good as having the Bishop in his pocket.
Personally I wouldn't want to have a toot on Mrs E but I reckon it would be worth a gander all the same.
I told Lumpkin to up the offer to seventy five quid and see if David coughs up then.

I might draw down to The Bull tonight to see Col and his band play. It's funny to think that the roadies he once had will be in their fourties now and will have daughters the same age as they were back when they worshiped the ground Col sang on. Given half the chance, I reckon that won't stop Col and he'll be popping little blue pills like Smarties. In some ways I hope he does get some action tonight otherwise he's going to have to break its neck...

Kipper, my gardener is getting on with the greenhouse. I've seen him going in and out several times today, taking reflective sheets and heat lamps for the tomatoes. He must be getting his plants from a nursery as it seems very early for tomatoes and he took delivery of a few trays today. If I were that nursery though, I'd buy a little van to move the plants and things around with. I'm buggered if I'd be as daft as they are and ruin a perfectly good Range Rover. It looked really smart in black with those blacked-out windows and 20 inch alloys.
Business must be good...